(c) 2014. Catherine Morgan Gordy
Stairways to Heaven and one-way tickets to Hell,
my destination is pre-planned,
and I’m just waiting on baggage claim.
I’ve seen their eyes staring.
staring through me to figure out why I am the way I am.
Who am I? Why have I chosen this life?
But I didn’t chose this life,
it leapt on my back and I’ve been fighting this cougar ever since.
This giant pussy cat won’t leave me alone.
I stare at where our hands are connected,
where our fingers intertwine to become one.
This is where I’m happiest, when I stare into her eyes.
These demons don’t understand our affection,
they try to drag me to Hell and away from the misery I’m in now,
but it’s not that bad when I’m with you.
Things change and I shift and switch
and suddenly I’m lost without you.
I question my decisions. I question my morals.
Your soft curves are gone, replaced by a flat chest
and defined muscle wearing nothing but
socks and a condom. He looks at me expectedly.
This is not what I really want. Is it?
My rock solid standards of my preferences are shattered.
They fall around me like confetti.
I can see where we are connected, but it is not the same.
Emotions are factorless. This is not a schoolyard crush,
it’s just good business.
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